I went to Woolworths to buy meat yesterday.
Years ago, the task would have taken less than a minute. This time, changes to my vision meant I could not rely on sight alone. I spent about ten minutes touching packet after packet, trying to identify a single product. There was nobody nearby to help and, because it was Sunday, I had no formal support available.
What should have been simple became frustrating and emotionally draining.
The irony is that I already had a solution: the Be My Eyes app. Yet in that moment, I never thought to use it. I was stressed and only thinking of the task in front of me. Only later did I realise I had forgotten a tool designed to support me.
The experience reminded me that disability is not only about physical limitations. There is also a mental and emotional load that often remains invisible.
As I said earlier, disability trauma can occur anywhere. At anytime.
Disability Is More Than a Physical Experience
When people think about disability, they often focus on what they can see: a mobility aid, guide dog, hearing aid, or request for assistance. They may not see the effort required to navigate a world that was not designed with you in mind.
My experience is only mine. Another person with the same condition may face different challenges and use different strategies. Disability is not a single experience; it is millions of individual experiences shaped by different bodies, lives, environments, and challenges. That is why listening matters and assumptions can be harmful.
The Trauma of Constantly Adapting
For me, one of the least understood aspects of disability is the constant need to adapt.
With a deteriorating condition, you find a solution, build a routine, learn a skill, or create a workaround. Then circumstances change. What worked six months ago may no longer work today.
The changes may be physical, sensory, neurological or technological. A redesigned website or software update can move features, alter gestures, and disrupt familiar navigation. These changes may seem minor, but they can significantly affect how a person with disability participates in everyday life.
People often see resilience and determination. They do not see the thousands of decisions, adjustments, and workarounds happening behind the scenes. Constantly reinventing how you live is exhausting, and over time it creates an emotional burden.
When Stress Affects More Than Emotions
The Woolworths experience also showed me that stress affects not only how we feel, but how we think. As my frustration grew, opening an app and asking for help never entered my mind.
A support tool does not automatically solve a problem. Stress, fatigue, anxiety, information overload, and trauma can impair decision-making. When people are overwhelmed, they may forget instructions, miss helpful options, or struggle to follow a process.
Looking through a trauma lens means recognising that behaviour often has a reason behind it. People are not always being difficult; sometimes they are overwhelmed.
Sandra Muller from True North Content discusses Trauma Lens and Content Design in the latest episode of The Digital Access Show.
The Grief That Nobody Talks About
The Public Version and the Private Reality
Many people with disabilities become skilled at presenting a positive face. We smile, attend meetings and family events, and do what needs to be done. Others see the outcome, not the effort. At home, there can be relief in no longer pretending everything is easy and acknowledging what the day has cost.
Nobody Knows What
Someone Else Is Carrying
The biggest lesson disability has taught me is that nobody truly knows what another person is carrying. Someone may be managing illness, caring responsibilities, grief, financial stress, or workplace pressure. We usually see only what people choose to show us. That is why respect matters.
Understanding Disability Trauma:
Looking Through a Trauma Lens
A trauma lens shifts the question from “What is wrong with them?” to “What might they be dealing with?”
This matters in digital accessibility. Accessible technology is essential, but accessibility is more than standards and compliance. It also means understanding the person using the technology. People bring stress, fatigue, grief, trauma, and frustration to every interaction with a website, app, service, or organisation. Accessible design should recognise that people may not always be operating at their best.
The person struggling in a supermarket, having difficulty with a website, asking for help, or appearing frustrated may be facing challenges we cannot see. We can choose empathy over assumptions, patience over judgement, and respect over criticism.
We do not have to fully understand another person’s experience to acknowledge it and treat them with dignity. Sometimes that choice makes all the difference.